The Big Sister

So I’ve been reading a lot about queer theory in one of my classes so I’ve been thinking about sexual preference a lot lately. Today on facebook I saw an acquaintance’s status: “_____ is a straight ally. There are 9 days until National Coming Out Day and I pledge to have heartfelt conversations for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality” and it made me think…why do people have to specify that they’re a “straight ally” in situations like this?

I hear it all the time, “now I’m not gay but I don’t have anything against it.” I have a sticker on my guitar case that I got in highschool: “I’m straight but not narrow.” Even as a questioning teenager who was outspoken about progressive political issues, I didn’t want people to think that I was a lesbian. Why do people do this? Why are people afraid, if they’re supportive of gay equality, that someone (oh no!) might think that they are gay themselves?

When I went to donate my own facebook status to National Coming Out Day, it gave me the option to list myself as straight, gay, bisexual, or to leave it blank. I think people are afraid that even leaving it blank will imply you are gay. Why else would anyone leave it blank, the thinking goes. If you’re straight, what do you have to hide?

So if you’re a straight ally, I’m challenging you to not only speak out but also to leave the “straight” part out next time you have a conversation about sexuality. Let people wonder. Remember that some of the people you’re standing up for can’t ensure others that they’re straight without denying a part of who they are.